Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
