"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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