***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
