You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
