So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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