i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize