i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize