We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize