Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
do herpes really smell.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
