No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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