; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
