Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
