You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
