Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
