Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
