We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
