sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
