does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
