I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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