At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
