My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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