I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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