Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize