Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
