Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
