Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
