they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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