everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
