alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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