i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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