you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
