We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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