you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
