remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They should really pass out barf bags in church
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
