you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
