i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
