The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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