It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize