she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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