Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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