Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize