you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
