I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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