I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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