And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My vagina just clenched in fear
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
