I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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