1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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