mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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