Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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