I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
