it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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