you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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