I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
