Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
