She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just blew my weed a kiss
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize