I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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