I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
