found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
