cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize