I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that's an acceptable place to lick
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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