The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
