i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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