in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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