right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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