come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
we're so committed to being not committed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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