honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
